Tags
Fiction, flash fiction, short stories, short story, story, writing
She first saw the river when she was a tiny child, not even knee height next to her father. It fascinated her. Its surface sparkled like it was made of a million sapphires, and it stretched away so far that she thought it might reach the end of the world.
Her father placed a heavy hand on her shoulders and spoke to her in his most serious voice. The river is dangerous, he told her. Do not underestimate it. Do not call down its wrath.
Her people feared the river, and everything it could do. Their houses were built with all the doors and windows facing away from the river, because they believed that watching it brought the floods. The fishermen lived far from the rest of the tribe, because they risked the wrath of the river every day that they spent along its shores, and must therefore be careful not to bring down its fury upon their neighbours.
Bridges were unheard of, and boats forbidden. Her people never crossed the river.
Still, it fascinated her.
She slipped away from her chores to watch it sparkle under the sun. She crept from her bed to gaze upon it at night.
She grew into a tall, beautiful young maiden with only one thing on her mind.
She would find out what lay beyond the river.
© Kari Fay
The Best Place By The Fire 
This is interesting. I wish I could write like you.
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Thank you, I’m flattered. I would recommend writing like yourself though- I see a promising voice in that first excerpt on your site.
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Thanks, it means a lot coming from someone who can create a different story everyday. I read some of your other stories and they are all really very enjoyable.
The problem that I find with writing my way is that it becomes extremely difficult for me to develop a character and or a progression to the story and I can’t convey emotions or tell a story in any other way. I hope you won’t mind if I ask you for some tips to improve my writing. Also, will you give my excerpt a critique or maybe revise/rewrite it in your style of writing?
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My three main tips:
1. Write. Keep writing. Write whenever you feel like writing. Write when you don’t feel like writing. Write about things you love and things you hate. It doesn’t matter whether you show it to anyone or keep it secret, but write.
2. Read. Read as much as you can, in as many different genres as you can. If somebody tells you a book is great, read it. If they tell you a book is terrible, ask them why and read as much of it as you can stand!
3. Observe. Watch people and listen to them. Pay attention to details large and small, because a lot of the time it’s the details that drag you right into a story and say “This is real.” Whatever you observe, think about how you would describe it. Pay attention to everything, because you never know when you can put it into a story.
It’s late here right now, and I’m not great at critiques, but I will see if I can stop by tomorrow and take a closer look at your excerpt.
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