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“What the hell?”

The snowman blinked and tried to make sense of the world. He was seeing double; one image half superimposed upon another.

“Oh, they’ve set me eyes wonky,” he muttered. “Never mind, they’ll never notice if I fix that meself…”

He looked down from his uneven eyes at the little metal things sticking out of the sides of his body.

“Are these supposed to be arms?”

He wiggled them awkwardly. They flashed in the sunlight, but were utterly useless. They wouldn’t reach anywhere near his face, no matter how he might twist himself around.

“They bloody are,” he muttered. “They’ve only given me bloody teaspoons for arms.”

A giggle sounded from the fence beside him. “You’ve not seen the shape of the rest of you yet!”

The snowman turned around clumsily to peer at the robin. “What ‘ave they done to me?”

The robin snickered again. “You’re all out of proportion, mate. Your head’s bigger than your arse!”

The snowman drooped. “It’s not fair,” he muttered. “Why? Why would they leave me looking like this?”

The robin shrugged. “Kids these days,” he said. “They just don’t care any more. The kid who built you just got bored and went inside to play video games.”

The snowman’s wonky eyes narrowed. “Video games? Doesn’t he know-”

“Doesn’t he know who you are? No,” the robin interjected. “Doubt it, anyway. I don’t think they’re bothered with the whole ‘walking in the air’ lark any more. Not when they can shoot people all day long in virtual technicolour. Somehow they seem to find that more appealing these days.”

The snowman turned. “I’ll bloody teach him,” he muttered, waggling his teaspoon arms in anger. “I’m gonna go in there and melt all over his bloody games console.”

“Oh yeah?” The robin bounced along the fence. “This I gotta see. How are you gonna open the door with those arms?”

The snowman stopped and looked at the sniggering bird. “I’m the bloody Snowman,” he said. “And for one night, I can do whatever I want. And I want revenge on the kid who built me like this!”

© Kari Fay

(Author’s Note: Again, apologies for the late story. I’m finally starting to get over the stupid cold though and I’ll be trying to get back on schedule this week!)