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I sit by the harbour. The sea calls to me.

It calls to me but I cannot answer.

I watch the waves crash against the shore as if they are reaching for me; I hear the roar of the ocean as if it is the rush of the blood in my own veins; I smell the salt on the air and it is like a lover’s perfume.

I go to the water; I slip beneath the waves. I wish I could stay there forever. I wish I could stay hidden in the blue depths, wrapped in water that holds me closer than any lover’s arms. where no one can see me, where no one can judge me.

My chest is bursting and I have to swim back up to the surface.

I have to leave soon. It feels worse than parting from a lover. My heart breaks to think that I may not see the sea again.

I watch the ships sail out of the harbour. I wish I could go with them. They will not take me with them.

I curse the most basic fact of my life.

If I had been born a man, I could be on that ship. They would not see me as an omen of bad luck if I should so much as step on board. I could sail upon the seas I love for the rest of my days.

Maybe I’ll just stow away…

© Kari Fay

(Author’s Note: My boyfriend suggested a story based on the song Martha’s Harbour by All About Eve. I took the first and last lines from the lyrics and filled out the rest.)