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If I should die, think only this of me: that I have tried to make amends.

Last night I was haunted by terrible dreams. I saw bloodshed and horror cover the earth. I saw graveyards that stretched as far as the eye could see. I saw men swallowed by the very earth, and entire towns emptied of their sons and brothers.

Unlike most dreams, these images have not faded from my mind’s eye. Rather, since I awoke, they have become altogether clearer.

I fear that something terrible is on the horizon, and find myself wondering what judgement would be placed upon me if death should knock upon my door.

I fear that I should be found wanting.

I therefore resolve to be a better man, a better husband and a better father. I will try to be a more generous, more charitable man. I will try to make amends for my sins, and be thankful that I have been granted the chance to do so.

I shall pray that what I have seen never comes to pass.

26th October, 1912

© Kari Fay

(Author’s Note: The BBC newsreaders are wearing their poppies now, which means it isn’t long until Armistice Day. This, combined with the particular poem from which the Carry On Tuesday prompt is drawn from, produced a rather melancholy piece.)