Tags
Fiction, flash fiction, short stories, short story, story, writing
Tara was nearly ten years old before she realised that most of the people she chatted to on a daily basis were dead.
She had always been a sociable and vocal child, ignoring her mother’s warning not to talk to strangers with a variety of justifications. The lady at the bus stop in the mornings, for example. She was there every day, so she wasn’t a stranger. She was always there before Tara, leaning on the bus shelter with her hands in the pockets of her long black coat. They chatted about Tara’s school work, mostly. The lady was very good at English, and could often explain things better than Tara’s teacher.
It was a cold and frosty morning when Tara finally figured it out. When she got to the bus stop that day, the lady was standing a little way down the road instead of leaning on the bus shelter.
“Morning,” she called to Tara, “come and have a look at this.”
Curious, Tara wandered over. The lady pointed to the hedge. There was a single rose growing there, perfect despite the frost. Tara leaned closer to get a better look.
“Hey!” She pulled the rose out of the hedge, pointing at its perfectly cut stem. “You just stuck this in there!”
The lady laughed. “You’re sharp,” she said. “I didn’t expect you to notice that so quickly.”
Tara was about to have a go at the lady for playing a stupid trick when there was an enormous crash behind her. She whipped around to see a car where the bus stop should be, all crumpled and steaming in the early morning. The man behind the wheel fought away his air bag and opened the door.
“Thank God I missed you,” he muttered, his breath reeking of alcohol as it misted up in the cold air.
“No,” said Tara, “Thank her.”
She turned to the lady just in time to see her turn into mist and disappear.
© Kari Fay
The Best Place By The Fire 
A nice reworking of the old “I see dead people” idea with a touching twist. Always impressed by how you cram so much into so little space.
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Thank you Rol 🙂
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I think you don’t actually need the opening; the story itself is enough. Whether she often sees dead people, this tale is about a particular dead person. Good story.
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True; most of the stories you see here are largely unedited (more so during the week than at the weekend) and if I was editing it as a standalone I might take it out. I might, however, have had an idea to expand this into a longer piece one day, and the opening would be relevant to that. Thank you for commenting. 🙂
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Fantastic story. Actually I like the opening as it gives another layer to the story; made me wonder what other experiences she had/will have (whether lucky escapes or not) and it leaves it open so it can be continued or just played out in the reader’s mind.
Well done. ;0)
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Thank you, I’m glad you liked it.
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Hi Kari – another great story. I actually had goosebumps when I read this story. So when you post your stories, how much editing do you do? How long does it take you to come up with a story?
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Thank you 🙂 As I say, I do very little editing. Most weekdays, I write the story from the WordPress app on my Android phone, while I’m waiting for and on the bus into work. It takes about twenty to thirty minutes, usually. Then, once I get into the office, I have about ten minutes to proof read it, so generally the only editing is checking for typos, occasionally adjusting some sentences to flow better, and usually changing the title. At the weekends, most of my stories are written on an actual computer, so I might take longer and edit more.
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Really great read, but oh I wish I didn’t read this before bedtime. I like the opening. I think it’s a great set up to the rest of the story. Just adding my two cents.
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Thank you; I’m glad you liked it. It was mainly an experiment in anti-twist- giving away the story instead of building up to a surprise.
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